


No Idea Of What Is Proper.

by purelycoincidentalcats



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Durincest, Dwarves are improper, M/M, Poor Bilbo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-24
Updated: 2013-02-24
Packaged: 2017-12-03 11:37:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/697845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purelycoincidentalcats/pseuds/purelycoincidentalcats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo isn't sure how he feels about these dwarves and how they behave in a completely improper fashion almost all the time... Especially the two young Durin siblings, who seem less proper than most...</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Idea Of What Is Proper.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first Hobbit fic I've written, and everyone loves a bit of Fili and Kili... Except maybe Bilbo, right? Just a little one-shot. Enjoy!

Bilbo sighed to himself as he started unpacking his bed roll and blanket in preparation for sleep. He was thinking more and more that these dwarves lacked ideas of what was proper. They broke apart whatever they came across to make fires, including the fine Elvish furniture in their quarters in Rivendell. They ate more food than any hobbit he'd ever seen, and with less grace. They were not the cleanest of people, and some of their flatulence following their feasting left something to be desired... As did Thorin's continued attitude towards him.

But the thing that seemed to have gotten under his collar most, aside from Bofur's disgraceful idea of a handkerchief, was those two young dwarf brothers. Fili and Kili. Not only had they tricked him, essentially, into confronting those three trolls by himself, but there was something more than a little odd about them...

He'd seen them, the other night... When they thought everyone was asleep, unaware that Bilbo could not... Kili, the dark haired one who didn't even have a proper beard yet, he'd snuck over the short distance between his and Fili's bed. He'd been smiling in a way Bilbo was sure no sibling should at their kin, and woken Fili with a few gentle tugs on the many braids that hung in his blonde beard and hair.

"Nng, what do you want?" Fili had groaned softly as he'd awoken, though as soon as his eyes flickered open, the same smile that pulled at Kili's mouth crept onto Fili's face in turn. Kili had just shrugged a shoulder, aiming for nonchalant but coming off almost coy, and that’s when Bilbo had witnessed them... Well, Fili leant up, and Kili had closed the distance between them before they shared a slow, intimate kiss. Then another, their lips brushing and melding and...

Bilbo closed his eyes. He was not meant to be watching that. Not at all. It wasn't even meant to be happening!

And that was when Bilbo definitely decided that dwarves just had no sense of what was right and good... Especially those two. And again he found himself missing Bag End.

However, the chaos of the days following the incident pushed these thoughts of improper behaviour to the back of his mind, until dinner that night. He'd watch the dwarves play what seemed to be their favourite game, tossing food for Bombur to catch in his mouth, and glanced away from that to see Kili cast his brother a little look, and gave his head a slight jerk with raised eyebrows and a suggestive smile and Bilbo felt his stomach lurch a little. Fili merely nodded in return and Kili settled back into his food, while Bilbo found himself not really wanting to eat another bite, his mind suddenly full of thoughts as to what their secretive gestures might mean and if it was anything to do with what he'd seen... What their relationship seemed to be...

Still, nothing came of their little exchange as Bilbo and the others all settled down to sleep. Bilbo tried to calm his mind to bring sleep, but with his exhausted body, he found it easier than he thought, drifting into sleep much faster than he'd imagined.

The fire had burnt low when Bilbo stirred from his sleep. Snuffling softly as he became fully awake, he looked around at all the sleeping dwarves and the much larger shape of Gandalf, and wondered just what it was that had woken him. Everything seemed still, and he wondered if he'd just imagined something waiting, only to be startled by a soft noise carrying on the air, Bilbo's keen hobbit ears catching it. It sounded like a noise of pain... Someone was hurt? He looked around the camp again, more focussed this time and he realised Fili and Kili were both gone...

Could they have gotten themselves into trouble? To hear Thorin talk, their Uncle, someone who would know them best, he seemed to believe that getting into trouble was all that they were good at... So what was that noise? Were they in danger? Or were they already hurt? 

Bilbo looked around at the others again, wondering should he wake Thorin, and the others, or Gandalf? But something stopped him from voicing his concerns. Instead he pulled himself up, moving to creep around everyone and following the sound as another came to him. He would find the source first, using his stealth. He was the burglar after all. He would make sure that waking the others would not put the two young dwarves in danger... Something in his gut told him that this was the best idea.

He crept out of their camp, sneaking through the trees and low shrubs until he saw what looked like another clearing ahead of him. As he approached, he heard another low noise, a weak groan, followed by what he could recognise as words this time.

"Uughh Kili. No. No..." His voice was strained and carried an urgency that peaked Bilbo's concern, and he hurried forward out of the undergrowth only to falter, stopped dead in his tracks at the sight that met him. They were not hurt... Neither of them. Quite the opposite in fact, and his realisation was confirmed by the rest of Fili's sentence, "Easy, Kili. We have time... You can go slower... Gentle..."

"Oh, Fili." Kili breathed back, and Bilbo took full stock of their position. Fili lay flat on his back, his younger brother astride his hips. Kili's movements, which had at first been so eager, eased under his older brother's soft instruction. It was all too obvious to Bilbo just what the pair were getting up to, the way Kili's hips were moving, shifting and rolling. Though Kili's long coat prevented him from getting too graphic an idea, their pants lay in crumpled piles beside them, hastily discarded, and it was enough to finish the picture. Along with the sight of bared, hairy legs…

Kili leant forward slightly, his hair falling into his face as his hands stroked slightly through the fur that covered the lapels of Fili's jacket, tensing slightly as he gave another moan. It was the same noise that Bilbo had been woken by, though he knew now it was nothing to do with pain... Bilbo had never witnessed such an act of intimacy before, but he remained frozen in place, watching the dwarven pair.

"That’s it... Ugh, little brother." Fili panted out, the pleasure in his voice now obvious as he stroked large hands up Kili's thighs, gripping and squeezing the firm flesh, smiling up at the younger dwarf. "I just didn't want to rush this..."

"Uh... I... I know, but... You feel... You make me feel... Unn, Fili!" Kili panted back, a little grin on his face, his hips never faltering in their movements even as they talked to each other with an ease that only long time lovers shared. Kili's head fell back now, his hands tightening, gripping and pulling at his brother's coat, pulling the blonde dwarf up, and Fili sat up willingly. He ran his fingers through Kili's long, dark hair, fisting a hand in it before he started kissing at his exposed neck. He kissed and sucked along his brother's throat, giving a little bite before Kili's hands found the braids that adorned his brother's hair, tugging them slightly. "Fili, please..."

"What do you want?" Fili asked again against the younger dwarf's skin, but this time instead of his voice being thick with sleep, it was soft and heated and it made Kili shiver where he was still bouncing slowly in his lap. Fili leant up, kissing Kili's lips this time, swallowing his soft, panted noises. Kili responded excitedly to the kiss, his own mouth hot and demanding, and Fili indulged him for a moment before pulling back to look at him expectantly with his eyebrows slightly lifted. Kili stroked his hands down Fili's chest, pushing him back down firmly so he was lying flat, licking his lips and giving another quiet groan.

"I want your hands somewhere other than my hair or thighs..." Kili muttered out, and Bilbo instantly got his meaning, but it seemed Fili wanted to play with the dark haired dwarf for a moment. His eyes shone with an undeniable mischief, and his hands moved to stroke down his chest and across Kili's belly, which must have been frustratingly too close to where Kili wanted his hands but still so far.

"So... Somewhere else? How about here?" He wondered cheekily, grinning at Kili's low noise of frustration at his brother's teasing, the younger dwarf tossing his hair back and grinding himself down.

"Lower... Fili, lower. You know where I want your touch. I need it." Kili arched his body, looking beseechingly down at the other dwarf with something that was very nearly a pout, and while Fili chuckled, amused by himself, he finally obliged, his hands sliding further down to their goal. Kili's noise of pleasure seemed to get stuck in his throat as Fili's arm started to move, his hips bucking and his pace picking back up to what it had been when Bilbo had first stumbled upon them. Fili groaned in response to the increase in his little brother's movements.

"Oh... Oh, yes. No, I don't think you can do slow any more... Can you?"

Kili shook his head, unashamed in his need. "No... Fili... Uuuggghhh, brother!"

Fili heels set into the ground and he pushed his hips up strongly, causing Kili to cry out and go rigid above him. Crying out again, Kili moved to brace his hands on Fili's belly as leverage for his increasingly rushed movements. Fili, however, quietly shushed the noisy dwarf above him.

"Kili, shush. You might wake one of the others..."

"Oh, let them hear... I do not care... Fili, just... Please. Harder." Kili replied, heedless of his brother's warnings, too lost in his own pleasures. Fili shook his head, pushing his own hips up again, breathing out,

"Close..."

Kili nodded hurriedly, his breath coming in ragged pants. "Yes... Finish... Finish within me... Please..."

That seemed to shock Bilbo back into himself and he turned away quickly, hurrying back towards the camp, though he could hardly fail to hear the two noises of their joint peak behind him as he went. As he emerged back into the camp, he was instantly aware of a set of eyes on him. He looked over to find that Thorin was no longer sleeping, sitting up slightly and watching Bilbo with his dark eyes. He had been warmer towards him since the attack of the wargs, but Bilbo was still a little nervous around him. Still, it seemed that the dwarf Prince needed no explanation. He took one look at the flush on Bilbo's cheeks before tilting his head.

"Fili and Kili?" He wondered in a gruff whisper, seeing the initial surprise on Bilbo's face to know that he knew what had happened. Finally Bilbo nodded silently, and Thorin shook his head. But it wasn't with disapproval, there was a fondness that showed in his eyes before he spoke again. "I know it is not conventional, nor, I expect, what you would consider proper but..." Another little sigh. "It makes them happy, showing their love for each other in such a way... And who am I to deny them something that makes them happy when our people have seen such sadness..."

Bilbo blinked at that, having not thought of it in such a way. He stared at Thorin in silence for a long moment before he finally gave another nod and made his way as quickly as he could to his own bed roll. He had settled, but not yet found sleep when he heard the sounds of the two brothers returning to the camp. He couldn't help but listen as they whispered softly to each other as they returned to their beds, hearing the soft words of love and teasing, and finding himself smiling sort of like Thorin had. 

So, maybe dwarves didn't have any idea of what was proper, and didn't necessarily do things in the ways a proper hobbit would but it wasn't for him to judge. He was a hobbit on an adventure, after all. And there was nothing proper about that either...


End file.
